You select > INTERNET\n\nYou spend a few minutes looking at the Toad internet. It is mostly pictures of flies.\n\n[[> HOME|Computer]]\n[[> LOGOUT|Logout Toad]]
<<if ($username is "1378" or $username is "Toad 1378" or $username is "Toad1378" or $username is "toad1378" or $username is"toad 1378" or $username is "TOAD1378" or $username is "TOAD 1378") and ($password is "password" or $password is "Password" or $password is "PASSWORD")>><<set $login = 1>><<display "Executive Privileges">>\n<<else>><<set $login = 0>><<display "Incorrect">>\n<<endif>>
You run away in the only available direction, back along the tunnel towards the lake of scum.\n\nHenry shouts something, but you are already out of earshot.\n\n[[Keep going]]\n[[Turn back]]\n
You say, "Yes."\n\n"The magic word is PASSWORD," say the worms.\n<<set $passworded = "yes">>\n[[Say, "Thanks."|Say Thanks]]\n[[Say, "Password."|Say Password]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Say Goodbye]]
You ask, "Can I go home now, please?"\n\n<<if $whyme eq "yes">>"What about saving the human race?" Henry asks. "You're going to give up and go home? Just when it's getting fun?"\n<<else>>"Are you crazy?" the wizard asks? "Go home now? Just when it's getting fun?" \n<<endif>>\n[[Say,"Yes."|Home 2]]\n[[Say,"No."|No Magic]]\n[[Say,"This is fun?"|This Is Fun?]]
You wait.\n<<set $carolfirst = "yes">>\nTime passes...\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n[[Wait here|Wait Hatch]]\n<<endif>>
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You say, "Now."\n\n"Good," says the wizard. "It's all rather complicated, but the basic facts are these: A few thousand years ago a small, brown, alien spaceship landed on the Earth and burrowed deep into the ground."\n\n<<if $sorry eq "yes">><<display "Toad Arrives Sorry">><<else>><<display "Toad Arrives">><<endif>>
You engage your sucker feet and twist the door handle with all your might.\n\nIt doesn't budge.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Launch Into Office]]\n[[Fly back to the toad's cubicle|Launch Back To Cubicle]]\n<<endif>>
You feel sorry for yourself.\n<<if $sorry eq "yes">>\nIt still doesn't help.\n<<else>>\nIt doesn't help.\n<<endif>>\n[[Climb back up the hole you fell down]]\n[[Return to Henry|Turn back]]\n[[Give up]]
You wave at the wizard again.\n\nThe wizard checks his watch and frowns at it, and then at you.\n\n[[Open the door|Open Door Wizard]]\n[[Wave some more|Don't Open Door Wizard]]
You sit down on the bank of the scummy lake and give up.\n\nAfter a few days you die.\n\nThe end.\n\n[[Play again?|Start]]
You say, "Do I know you?"\n\n“I think so,” says the other fly. Her gaze drifts off into the distance for a while. “I'm Carol," she says.\n\n[[Say, "Carol who?"|Carol Who?]]\n[[Say, "Carol from Accounting?"|Carol From Accounting]]
You are sitting on the ceiling of an enormous cavern. Below you, for as far as your creepy little segmented eyes can see, are row upon row of toad-sized office cubicles. In each cubicle is a fancy computer, and at each computer squats a fat brown toad.\n\nIn the wall on the far side of the cave is a door.\n\n[[Fly to the vacant cubicle below you|Fly Cubicle]]\n[[Fly to the door on the far side of the cave|Boss Door]]
You select > EXECUTIVE ACCESS\n\n> PLEASE ENTER YOUR EXECUTIVE IDENTIFICATION NUMBER AND PASSWORD:\n\nID NUMBER <<textinput $username>>\nPASSWORD <<textinput $password>>\n\n<<button [[LOGIN|Exec Login]]>>
You say, "I mean he's not here."\n\n<<display "Toad Tongue">>
You say, "Was that an alien?"\n\n"Yes," says Henry. "You're very good at this. The aliens look like toads. You should follow it and find out what it's up to."\n\n[[Say, "Why don't <i>you</i> follow it?"|Why Not Talk]]\n[[Say, "What do you expect it to be up to?"|Expect]]
You look around the spaceship. It is brown and enormous.\n\n<<if $ship lte 1>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Take Off With Carol">><<else>><<print $ship>> minutes pass. A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Take Off With Carol">>\n<<endif>>
You swim in the lake of scum.\n\nIt is quite disgusting.\n\nAfter a few minutes you feel sick and climb out.\n\n[[Feel sorry for yourself]]\n[[Return to Henry|Turn back]]\n[[Give up]]
You say, "Why are you asking?"\n\n"I wanted to make sure you were ready," says Henry. "Are you ready?"\n\n[[Say yes|Ready]]\n[[Say no|Not Ready]]
You say nothing.\n\nThere is an awkward silence.\n\nThe wizard sheds a tear.\n\n"I have to go into space," he says, "Are you coming?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes, let's go into space."|Yes Space]]\n[[Say, "No, let's go home."|No Space 1]]
You continue holding the door for Carol.\n\nCarol finally drifts into the spaceship and you quickly close the door behind her, barely a second before the army of toads arrives. \n\n[[Look around the ship|Look ship]]\n[[Look out through the porthole|Sad Toads]]
You say yes.\n\nHenry wiggles his fingers and you fall unconscious.\n\n[[Wake up|Wake Famous]]
"Yes," you say.\n\nHenry sighs, "I don't do teleportation," he says. The best I can offer you is psychic migration."\n\nYou stare blankly.\n\n"I can swap you into someone else's body. Do you want to be somone else? Someone rich and talented perhaps? Someone less saggy?"\n\n[[Say yes|Home 3]]\n[[Say no|No Magic]]\n
You pee your pants. \n\nIt is warm, and then cold.\n\n<<set $pee = "yes">><<display "Life Flash">>
The hatch doesn't seem to have a handle, and you don't seem to care. \n\nFor want of anything better to do you fly back up to the ceiling.\n\n<<display "Ceiling">>
Toads \nPart Two
You fly into an ear hole and squeeze your fat fuzzy body along the ear canal. Unfortunately, toads do not have ear openings, and your exit is blocked by a thin membrain of skin.\n\n[[Buzz your wings|Buzz Ear]]\n[[Stay put|Stay Put]]\n[[Turn back|Turn Back]]
You hold the door for Carol.\n\nCarol flies slowly out of the cloud of gas. There is a look of hazy uncertainty on her little fly face.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>As the door closes automatically, a droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Take Off Without Carol">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Continue holding the door for Carol|Hold Door2]]\n[[Stop holding the door for Carol|Don't Door]]\n<<endif>>
"Carol from Accounting?" you ask.\n\n"That's me," says the fly, uncertainly. \n<<if $gasgone eq "no">>\nYou look through the hatch. The gray gas has sunk out of sight.<<set $gasgone = "yes">><<endif>> <<if not visited("Last Hope") and not visited("How Know")>> "You work on the 4th floor, right?" says Carol. "In the cubicle with the rubber plant, next to that man, what's his name?"\n\n[[Say, "I've forgotten."|Forgotten]]\n[[Say, "Sorry I didn't hold the elevator for you this morning."|Lobby]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n<<else>>\n\n[[Say, "It's nice to see you again, Carol."|No Way]]\n[[Say, "Sorry I didn't hold the elevator for you this morning."|Lobby]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n<<endif>>
You say, "Thanks."\n\nThe spaceship reaches the surface of the Earth and emerges into what remains of the building you worked in. It is mostly rubble since this afternoon's earthquake.\n\nHenry leaves, and returns a few seconds later leading Carol's human body by the hand. She walks slowly and looks confused.\n\n"Damn clever fly this one," says Henry, prodding human Carol in the forehead. She stares back, confusedly. "Flies are not usually smart enough to operate a human body like this," he says. Then he wiggles his fingers, and Carol's dull eyes brighten.\n\n"Bastard," she says, and throws a punch at the wizard's head. The wizard dodges it easily. Carol sighs, and leaves the spaceship.\n\nThere is an awkward silence.\n\n"I have to go into space," says Henry. "Are you coming?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes, let's go into space."|Yes Space]]\n[[Say, "No, let's go home."|No Space 1]]
"You're right," you say, "He is here."\n\nOut of the corner of your fly eye you see the wiggling of wizard fingers.\n\n[[Say, "I mean he's not here."|Not Really Here]]
"Late for what?" you call after Henry.\n\nThere is no response. \n\n[[Follow Henry|Follow]]\n[[Stay here|Rest]]
You say, "She was eaten by a toad."\n\nThere is an awkward silence.\n\nThe wizard sheds a tear.\n\n"I have to go into space," he says, "Are you coming?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes, let's go into space."|Yes Space]]\n[[Say, "No, let's go home."|No Space 1]]
You return to the wizard.\n\n"Oh, you're back to save he human race," he says. "Good."\n\nHe opens the lid of his jam jar and out flies a fly. Then he wiggles his fingers and you fall unconscious.\n\n[[Wake up]]
You fly right.\n\nThe toad's sticky tongue catches you in mid-flight and deposits you into his horrible warty mouth.\n\nNow what?\n\n[[Curse|Curse2]]\n[[Pee your pants|Pee2]]\n[[Remain Calm|Calm2]]
You look around the spaceship. \n\nIt is brown and enormous.\n\n[[Look through the porthole|Look Door Wizard 2]]\n[[Open the door|Open Door Wizard 2]]
“Good,” says the toad. Then he opens his huge warty mouth and thrusts his disgustingly long tongue at you.\n\n"Go left!" whispers the wizard from his hiding place in the shadows. You notice your body slumped unconscious at his feet.\n\n[[Fly left]]\n[[Fly right]]\n[[Stay put]]
You say, "Is this a toilet?"\n\n"Umm," says the wizard, "I hadn't really given it much thought to be honest." He looks back toward the lake of scum. "It does seem rather likely now that you mention it."\n\n<<if $boots eq "yes">>You look down at your scum-covered body. You feel quite sick, but at least your feet are dry.<<endif>><<if $boots eq "no" and $dry eq "no">>You look down at your scum-covered body and feel quite sick.<<endif>><<if $dry eq "yes" and $swallow eq "yes">>You think about the lake of scum, and how much of it you swallowed.<<endif>><<if $dry eq "yes" and $swallow eq "no">><<endif>>\n\n[[Say, "Was that a talking toad?"|Talking Toad?]]\n[[Say, "Was that an alien?"|Alien?]]
You say, "How long have you been here?"\n\n"Since this morning," says Carol. "I had a meeting with the new guy in HR. He turned out to be a wizard, and he said I had to help him save the human race by swapping my body with a fly. But then I ended up in this gas, and I think I forgot to save the human race." \n<<if $gasgone eq "no">>\nYou look through the hatch. The gray gas has sunk out of sight.<<set $gasgone = "yes">>\n<<endif>>\nCarol drifts off for a second, then says, "I imagine the same thing happened to you."\n\n[[Say, "I jumped down a hole."|Yes Save Race]]\n[[Say, "I didn't want to come."|No Save Race]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]
You say, "Why?"\n\n"Why save them?" says Henry, "Or why am I asking?"\n\n[[Say, "Why save them?"|Why Save Humans]]\n[[Say, "Why are you asking?"|Why Asking]]
You climb back up the hole you fell down.\n\nAfter about a minute you fall down again.\n\n[[Return to Henry|Turn back]]\n[[Swim in the lake]]\n[[Give up]]
You say hello to the other fly, and then forget why you said it.\n\nThe other fly stares at you with an oddly familiar expression of confusion and betrayal.\n\nYou lose interest and for want of anything better to do you fly back up to the ceiling.\n\n<<display "Ceiling">>
You wait for the Toads.\n\nThe Toads arrive. They shuffle past you into the spaceship. Gray gas is everywhere. Your mind goes soft.\n\nA droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..."\n\nThe spaceship launches with a thunderous roar. It is the loudest, most distressing noise you have ever heard in your life. You think your brain might explode.\n\nThen everything goes dark and silent. \n\nAfter a while a blurry shape begins to materialize in front of you. It is a face. An old face surrounded by long white hair. It is the face of Henry the wizard. \n\n"You have failed to save the human race," says Henry. <<if $saved eq "yes">>Try harder.<<else>>"Try harder. And don't forget the worms next time."<<endif>>\n\nYou pass out.\n\n[[Wake up|Redo]]
You look out through the porthole.\n\nOutside you see Henry the wizard standing on the bank of the lake of scum. The spaceship fills the entire lake.\n\n[[Wave at the wizard|Wave Wizard]]\n[[Open the door|Open Door Wizard]]
"No," you say.\n\n"You look ready," says the wizard.\n\n[[Say, "I'm not ready."|Am Not Ready]]\n[[Say, "I am ready."|Am Ready]]
"Why don't <i>you</i> follow it?" you ask.\n\n"I'm too big to fit through that tiny little door," says the wizard. "But I know someone who isn't."\n\nHe pulls a jam jar from his coat pocket and holds it up for you to see.\n\n[[Look at the jam jar|Look at the jam jar]]\n[[Don't look at the jam jar|Look Away]]
You walk away in the only available direction, back along the tunnel towards the lake of scum.\n\nHenry calls after you, "What about the human race?"\n\n[[Keep going]]\n[[Turn back]]
You say, "How long have you been in HR?"\n<<if $hr eq "no">>\n"Since yesterday," says Henry. "The office was conveniently located."\n\n[[Say, "You destroyed it in an earthquake."|You Made Hole]]\n[[Say, "So, you're not really in Human Resources?"|Not Really HR]]\n<<else>>\n"I just told you," says Henry, "Since yesterday. Do keep up."\n\n<<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You say, "Where do you come from?"\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n<<if $belgium eq "yes">>"Didn't I just tell you?" says Henry, "I'm from Belgium. Do you need to write these things down?"\n<<else>>"Belgium," says Henry. "Have you been? It's nice. Good waffles."\n<<set $belgium = "yes">><<endif>>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
"Don't worry," you say, "I'll save you!"\n\n"Hooray!" shout the worms, "Would you like to know the magic word?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes."|Yes Password]]\n[[Say, "No."|No Password]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye"|Leave Bag]]
You fly left.\n\n"<i>My</i> left!" whispers the wizard.\n\nThe toad's sticky tongue catches you in mid-flight and deposits you into his horrible warty mouth.\n\nNow what?\n\n[[Curse|Curse2]]\n[[Pee your pants|Pee2]]\n[[Remain Calm|Calm2]]
You say, "Sorry I didn't hold the elevator for you this morning."\n\n"That probably wasn't me." says Carol. "This morning I had a meeting with the new guy in HR. He turned out to be a wizard, and he said I had to help him save the human race by swapping my body with a fly. But then I ended up in this gas, and I think I forgot to save the human race." \n<<if $gasgone eq "no">>\nYou look through the hatch. The gray gas has sunk out of sight.<<set $gasgone = "yes">>\n<<endif>>\nCarol drifts off for a second, then says, "I imagine the same thing happened to you."\n\n[[Say, "I jumped down a hole."|Yes Save Race]]\n[[Say, "I didn't want to come."|No Save Race]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]
You say, "Carol who?"\n\n"Carol from Accounting," says the fly, uncertainly. \n<<if $gasgone eq "no">> \nYou look through the hatch. The gray gas has sunk out of sight.<<set $gasgone = "yes">> <<endif>><<if not visited("Last Hope") and not visited("How Know")>> "You work on the 4th floor, right?" says Carol. "In the cubicle with the rubber plant, next to that man, what's his name?"\n\n[[Say, "I've forgotten."|Forgotten]]\n[[Say, "Sorry I didn't hold the elevator for you this morning."|Lobby]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n<<else>>\n\n[[Say, "It's nice to see you again, Carol."|No Way]]\n[[Say, "Sorry I didn't hold the elevator for you this morning."|Lobby]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n<<endif>>
You say hello.\n\nThe wizard wiggles his fingers and you fall unconscious.\n\n[[Wake up]]
You wave at the wizard with one of your tiny fly legs.\n\nThe wizard does not wave back. You notice your human body slumped at his feet.\n\n[[Open the Door|Open Door Wizard 2]]\n[[Look around the spaceship|Look Ship Wizard 2]]
"Thanks," you say, and continue walking.\n\n<<display "Tunnel Smaller">>
You select > REQUEST SABBATICAL\n\n> YOUR SABBATICAL HAS BEEN APPROVED. PLEASE ENJOY YOUR WELL EARNED REST.\n\n<<display "Executive Privileges 2">>
You are not wearing any pants, but you pee anyway.\n<<set $pee2 = "yes">>\nThere is a bumpy, rocking motion which you take to mean the toad is on the move. As he walks, he hums to himself in a dull but oddly reasuring drone.\n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
You say, "Goodbye," and fly back to the office door.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Fly to the bowl|Launch Bowl]]\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Launch Keyhole Return]]\n<<endif>>
You throw up some fly sick, and immediately feel better.\n<<set $puke = "yes">>\n[[Look around|Look Around You]]
\n[[Say, "Late for what?"|Late For What]]\n[[Say, "I'm staying here."|Rest?]]\n[[Follow the wizard|Follow]]
"So you're not really in Human Resources?" you say.\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n"I try not to think of humans as resources," says Henry.\n<<set $hr = "yes">>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You feel sorry for yourself.\n<<set $sorry = "yes">>\nIt doesn't help.\n\n[[Follow Henry|Follow]]
You wait for the Toads.\n\n"We're going to die!" shouts Carol. \n\n[[Fly inside|Inside]]\n[[Wait for the Toads|Wait Toads3]]
There is a shuffling sound on the other side of the door.\n\nHenry checks his watch and frowns at it, and then at you. He mutters something to himself about people who sit around feeling sorry for themselves.\n\nThe tiny door swings open and an ugly brown toad shuffles through. He looks up at you and says, "Oh, sorry. Didn't realize it was occupied." Then he shuffles back out again, closing the door behind him. \n\nYou look at the door, and then down the tunnel towards the lake of scum, and then at Henry.\n\n[[Say, "Was that a talking toad?"|Talking Toad?]]\n[[Say, "Was that an alien?"|Alien?]]\n[[Say, "What did he mean "occupied"?|Occupied?]]
You look at the fly. It doesn't look familiar.\n\n[[Look in the Mirror|Look Mirror]]\n[[Go Back to sleep|Sleep]]
You rest for a minute on the bank of the scumy lake. It smells terrible, and so do you. You feel like you might throw up. You are alone in the darkness. \n\n[[Feel sorry for yourself|Feel Sorry]]\n[[Follow Henry|Follow]]
You say, "I am ready."\n\n"Good," says the wizard, "It's all rather complicated, but the basic facts are these: A few thousand years ago a small, brown, alien spaceship landed on the Earth and burrowed deep into the ground."\n\n<<if $sorry eq "yes">><<display "Toad Arrives Sorry">><<else>><<display "Toad Arrives">><<endif>>
You fly towards the office door. \n\nThe buzzing of your wings echoes alarmingly around the cavern. Fortunately, the toads have all gone.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\nYou land on the door.\n\n[[Open the door|Launch Open Door]]\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Launch Into Office]]\n[[Fly back to the toad's cubicle|Launch Back To Cubicle]]\n<<endif>>
You select > NO\n\n<<display "Executive Privileges 2">>
You select > EMAIL\n\nThere are 2 new messages:\n\n[[> From : TOAD RESOURCES Subject : TREMORS|Email HR]]\n[[> From : TOAD 82337 Subject : HEY|Email Friend]]
You select > YES\n\n> INVASION OF EARTH COMMENCING IN T-MINUS 10 MINUTES\n\n> ALL TOADS MUST REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO THE STARSHIP TOAD\n<<set $invasion = "yes">>\n[[> Logout|Launch Logout]]
You fly down to the vacant cubicle. \n<<if $puke eq "yes">>\nOn the desk is a fancy looking computer, and some fly vomit.\n<<else>>\nOn the desk is a fancy looking computer.\n<<endif>>\nBelow you, under a thick layer of drifting gas, you can see a hatch built into the floor.\n\n<<display "Cubicle Actions">>
You look at the door. It is has a nameplate on it, and a small keyhole.\n\n[[Read the nameplate|Nameplate]]\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Into Office]]\n[[Open the door|Open Door 2]]\n[[Fly back to the toad's cubicle|Back To Cubicle]]
You look at the blurry shape. \n\nGradually it becomes a face. \n\nIt is the face of Carol from Accounting. She is saying something but you can't hear her.\n\n[[Read Carol's lips|Unconscious 5]]\n[[Wake Up|Wake Up]]
You say, "It wasn't me. None of this is my fault."\n<<if $invasion eq "yes">>\n"Are you sure?" asks Carol. "Because it looks like someone initiated an invasion and the toads are going to the surface to release their massive stores of naturally occurring psychotropic gas and take over the planet! We're doomed!"\n\n[[Say, "Don't worry, I have a plan!"|Plan]]\n[[Say, "Oh dear. What should we do now?"|What Now]]\n<<else>>\n"Are you sure?" asks Carol, "Because it looks like someone aborted the toads' mission to release their massive stores of naturally occuring psychotropic gas and take over the planet. So now we're saved!"\n\n[[Say, "Hooray for me!"|Hooray]]\n[[Say, "Now what?"|Now What]]\n<<endif>>
"Here we are then," says Henry. "Are you ready to save the human race?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes."|Ready]]\n[[Say, "No."|Not Ready 1]]\n[[Say, "Why?"|Why Save]]
"You destroyed it in an earthquake," you say.\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n"Yes," says Henry, "You're welcome." \n<<set $hr = "yes">>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You head through the door.\n\nThe toads are not far behind, a giant cloud of gray gas billowing ahead of them. You make it inside, but Carol is engulfed by the cloud.\n\nThe door between you is beginning to close.\n\nOn the spaceship wall you see the door control panel.\n\n[[Hold open the door for Carol|Hold Door]]\n[[Pretend to hold open the door for Carol|Pretend Door]]
You say, "Later."\n\nThe wizard wiggles his fingers.\n\n[[Say, "Now."|Ready Now]]
You say, "How long have you been a wizard?"\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n<<if $howlong eq "yes">>"I thought we covered that already," says Henry, "I've been a wizard all my life."\n<<else>>"I was born this way," says Henry. "I'm not sure when. I remember a lot of hunting and gathering, and then farming, and the internet."\n<<set $howlong = "yes">> <<endif>>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
"No," you say, "No humans here."\n\n"We thought that wizard might have been snooping around again," says the toad.\n \n[[Say, "No, no wizards here."|No Wizard Here]]\n[[Say, "You're right. He is here."|Wizard Here]]
The spaceship launches noisily, drowning out the sound of Carol's tiny fly screams as she is devoured by a toad.\n\nThe ship travels slowly upwards for several seconds, then stops.\n\n[[Look out through the porthole|Look Door Wizard 2]]\n[[Look around the spaceship|Look Ship Wizard 2]]
You say, "Later."\n\n"How much later?" says Henry.\n\n[[Say, "Now."|Ready Now]]\n[[Say, "Later."|Wiggle]]
You fly back up to the desk.\n<<if $puke eq "yes" and $pukegone eq "no">>\nThere is a computer here. And some vomit. The vomit looks tasty, but you have more important things to do at the moment.<<set $pukegone = "yes">>\n<<else>>\nThere is a computer here.\n<<endif>>\n<<display "Cubicle Actions">>
You really want to give up?\n\n[[Yes, I give up|Really]]\n[[No, go back|Turn back]]
You look back down tunnel.\n\nThe toads are slowly approaching, surrounded by a huge cloud of thick gray gas.\n\n"What are you waiting for?" shouts Carol. \n\nShe hurls her fuzzy fly body at the door control panel.\n\nIt beeps, and the door opens.\n\n[[Fly inside|Inside]]\n[[Wait for the Toads|Wait Toads]]
You say, "I'm just a fly."\n\n"We don't want to die!" cry the worms. "We'll tell you the magic word if you promise to save us."\n\n[[Say, "Okay I'll save you."|Okay Password]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Leave Bag]]
You crawl on towards the light and eventually make it to the opening of the nasal cavity.\n\n[[Fly out of the toad's nose|Fly Out Nose]]\n[[Buzz your wings|Tickle]]\n[[Turn back|Turn Back]]
You remain calm.\n\nThere is a bumpy, rocking motion which you take to mean the toad is on the move. As he walks, he hums to himself in a dull but oddly reasuring drone.\n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
jquery:off\nobfuscatekey:zbmhutcpjykofvxerqglsdnawi\nhash:off\nbookmark:off\nmodernizr:off\nundo:off\nobfuscate:off\nexitprompt:off\nblankcss:off\n
You say, "Are there other wizards?"\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n<<if $howmany eq "yes">>"Are you repeating yourself on purpose?" says Henry.\n<<else>>"They left," says Henry. "We didn't get along."\n<<set $howmany = "yes">><<endif>>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
"Why save them?" you say.\n\n"Why not?" says Henry. "Are you ready?"\n\n[[Say yes|Ready]]\n[[Say no|Not Ready]]
You select > WORK\n\nThe screen is filled with a dozen or so grainy videos. They are live feeds from security cameras above ground. You see images of streets and shops, playgrounds and office buildings. You watch people going about their business, walking around in the park. Someone is delivering bread. You watch children going home, and think of being them. \n\n[[> HOME|Computer]]\n[[> EXECUTIVE ACCESS|Exec Login0]]\n[[> LOGOUT|Logout Toad]]
You fly into the bowl.\n\nIt is full of worms.\n\n<<if $passworded eq "yes">>"Save us! Save us!" they scream, and then, "Oh, it's you. Are you saving us? Did you forget the magic word? It's PASSWORD."\n\n[[Say, "Thanks."|Say Thanks]]\n[[Say, "Password."|Say Password]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Say Goodbye]]\n<<else>>"Save us!" they scream.\n\n[[Say, "I'm just a fly."|Just Fly]]\n[[Say, "Don't worry, I'll save you!"|Save You]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Leave Bag]] \n<<endif>>
You say, "Hooray for me!"\n\nYou fly on through the tunnel, leaving the gassy toads shuffling along in your wake.\n\nMoments later you turn a corner and find the tunnel blocked by an enormous brown door. \n\nIn the middle of the door is a porthole. Below the porthole is the door control panel.\n\n[[Look back down the tunnel|Look Tunnel 2]]\n[[Look through the porthole|Porthole]]\n[[Fly at the control panel|Button]]\n
You say, "Yes."\n\n"Good," says the wizard, "It's all rather complicated, but the basic facts are these: A few thousand years ago a small, brown, alien spaceship landed on the Earth and burrowed deep into the ground.\n\n<<if $sorry eq "yes">><<display "Toad Arrives Sorry">><<else>><<display "Toad Arrives">><<endif>>
You say, "I launched an invasion of Earth."\n<<if $invasion eq "yes">>\n"Oh great," says Carol. "Do you know what you've done? The Toads are going to the surface to release their massive stores of naturally occuring psychotropic gas and take over the planet!"\n\n[[Say, "Don't worry, I have a plan!"|Plan]]\n[[Say, "Oh dear. What should we do now?"|What Now]]\n<<else>>\n"Are you sure?" asks Carol, "Because it looks like someone aborted the toad's mission to release their massive stores of naturally occuring psychotropic gas and take over the planet. So now we're saved!"\n\n[[Say, "Hooray for me!"|Hooray]]\n[[Say, "Now what?"|Now What]]\n<<endif>>
You say, "I've forgotten."\n<<if not visited("Know You?")>>\n"It's the gas," says the other fly, shaking her head and blinking. "I'm Carol... from Accounting." \n<<if $gasgone eq "no">>\nYou look through the hatch. The gray gas has sunk out of sight.<<set $gasgone = "yes">> <<endif>>\n<<else>>\n"It's the gas." says Carol, shaking her head and blinking. "I forgot something too... what was it?" \n<<if $gasgone eq "no">>You look through the hatch. The gray gas has sunk out of sight.<<set $gasgone = "yes">> <<endif>>\n<<endif>>\n[[Say, "It's nice to see you again, Carol."|No Way]]\n[[Say, "Sorry I didn't hold the elevator for you this morning."|Lobby]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n
You fly back to the office door.\n\nYou are a fly on a door.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Fly to the bowl|Launch Bowl]]\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Launch Keyhole Return]]\n<<endif>>
You select > SCHEDULE MASSAGE\n\n> YOUR MASSAGE HAS BEEN SCHEDULED.\n\n> PLEASE VISIT THE EXECUTIVE LOUNGE AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.\n\n<<display "Executive Privileges 2">>
You fly to the floor and look through the hatch.\n\nIt leads to a tunnel. The tunnel is full of slowly sinking gray gas.\n\nThere is a bewildered looking fly here.\n\n[[Fly through the hatch|Hatch Gas]]\n[[Talk to the other fly|Talk Other Fly]]\n[[Fly up to the desk|Launch Back To Cubicle]]
You look at the wizard. \n\nHe is a thin, centuries old man staring intently at a tunnel wall.\n\n[[Look at the wall|Look Wall]]
You look out through the porthole.\n\nThere are toads everywhere. Among the throng you see the slowly shuffling toad being furiously berated by the pinstriped executive toad.\n\n[[Wave to the pinstriped executive toad|Wave Toad]]\n[[Look around the spaceship|Look ship]]
You select > YES\n\n> MISSION ABORTED\n\n> ALL TOADS MUST REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO THE STARSHIP TOAD\n\n> LAUNCH IN T-MINUS 10 MINUTES\n<<set $abort = "yes">>\n[[> Logout|Launch Logout]]
You remain calm. \n\n<<display "Life Flash">>
You say, "Goodbye," and fly back to the large stone desk.\n\n"Don't forget to save us!" the worms call out after you.\n\nThe two toads are still discussing security details.\n\n[[Fly into to the bowl|Inside Bag]]\n[[Fly back to the door|Pin Door]]
You say, "No."\n\n"Okay," says the wizard. "I'm going to tell you anyway. It's all rather complicated, but the basic facts are these: A few thousand years ago a small, brown, alien spaceship landed on the Earth and burrowed deep into the ground."\n\n<<if $sorry eq "yes">><<display "Toad Arrives Sorry">><<else>><<display "Toad Arrives">><<endif>>
You look back down tunnel.\n\nThe toads are slowly approaching, surrounded by a huge cloud of thick gray gas.\n\n[[Fly inside|Inside]]\n[[Wait for the Toads|Wait Toads]]
You say, "I jumped down a hole."\n\nCarol sighs a little fly sigh. "Am I still up there? My body, I mean. At the office?"\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Say, "I saw you in the lobby."|Down Here]]\n[[Say, "You were walking very slowly."|Slow Walk]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n<<endif>>
You say, "I saw you in the lobby."\n\nCarol nods, slowly.\n<<set $carolfirst = "yes">>\nRed flashing lights continue to flash, and sirens continue to wail and echo around the enormous cave.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n"I just remembered," says Carol, "We need to escape." She flies through the hatch.\n\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n[[Wait here|Wait Hatch]]\n<<endif>>
"Can I not be covered in lake scum, please?" you ask Henry.\n\nHenry wiggles his fingers and you are suddenly warmer and drier than you have ever been in your entire life.\n<<set $dry = "yes">>\n[[Say thanks|Thanks]]
You say, "It's nice to see you again, Carol."\n\n"You too." says Carol. "I've got a terrible headache." <<if $gasgone eq "no">>You look through the hatch. The gray gas has sunk out of sight.<<set $gasgone = "yes">> <<endif>>\n\n[[Say, "How long have you been here?"|How Long Carol]]\n[[Say, "Sorry I didn't hold the eleveator for you this morning."|Lobby]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]
You are using the toad's computer.\n\n[[> EMAIL|Email]]\n[[> INTERNET|Web]]\n[[> WORK|Work]]\n[[> LOGOUT|Logout Toad]]
"What do you expect it to be up to?" you ask.\n\n"Some kind of survaillence," says the wizard.\n\nHe pulls a jam jar from his coat pocket and holds it up for you to see.\n\n[[Look at the jam jar|Look at the jam jar]]\n[[Don't look at the jam jar|Look Away]]
You select > NO\n\n<<display "Executive Privileges 2">>
by Anthony Hodgson
You wake up back in your own body, lying on the floor of the spaceship. You feel terrible.<<if $puke eq "yes">> You have the taste of fly vomit in your mouth.<<endif>><<if $boots eq "yes">> You are covered in a stinky crust of dried lake scum, but you still have your nice new boots on.<<endif>><<if $boots eq "no" and $dry eq "no">> And you are covered in a stinky crust of dried lake scum.<<endif>>\n\nThe spaceship reaches the surface of the Earth and emerges into what remains of the building you worked in. It is mostly rubble since this afternoon's earthquake.\n\n"Congratulations," says Henry. "You saved the human race. Where's Carol from Accounting? You were supposed to rescue her."\n\n[[Say, "She was eaten by a toad."|Eaten]]\n[[Say nothing|Nothing]]
You say, "Okay, I'll save you."\n\n"Hooray!" cry the worms. "The magic word is PASSWORD."\n<<set $passworded = "yes">>\n[[Say, "Thanks."|Say Thanks]]\n[[Say, "Password."|Say Password]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Say Goodbye]]
Really?\n\n[[YES!|Give Up]]\n[[No|Turn back]]
I haven't written Part 3 yet.\n\n[[Play Part Two again|Start]]\n[[Play Part One again|http://www.anthonyhodgson.com/toads/chapter1.html]]
You log out of the toad's computer and return to the desk.\n\nThe cavern is filled with annoyingly loud sirens and red flashing lights. Hatches are opening in the floor beneath the toads' desks. The thick gray gas is seeping down through the hatches, followed by the toads.\n\nA droning voice on a loud speaker says, "All Toads must report immediately to the Starship Toad. Launch commencing in T-minus 9 minutes."\n\nIn the floor below you is an open hatch. In the wall on the far side of the cave is an office door.\n\n[[Fly to the floor|Launch Floor]]\n[[Fly to the office door|Launch Boss Door]]
"Oh dear," you say, "What should we do now?"\n\n"Steal their spaceship?" says Carol.\n\nYou continue on through the tunnel, leaving the gassy toads shuffling along in your wake.\n\nMoments later you turn a corner and find the tunnel blocked by an enormous brown door. \n\nIn the middle of the door is a porthole. Below the porthole is the door control panel.\n\n[[Look back down the tunnel|Look Tunnel 2]]\n[[Look through the porthole|Porthole]]\n[[Fly at the control panel|Button]]\n
You say, "I don't have a secretary."\n\n"Well then," says Henry. "Exactly my point."\n\n<<if $tunnelsmaller eq "no">><<display "Tunnel Smaller">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
There is a shuffling sound on the other side of the door.\n\nHenry checks his watch and frowns at it, and then at you.\n\nThe tiny door swings open and an ugly brown toad shuffles through. The toad is carrying a newspaper under his arm. He looks up at you and says, "Oh, sorry. Didn't realize it was occupied." Then he shuffles back out again, closing the door behind him. \n\nYou look at the door, and then down the tunnel towards the lake of scum, and then at Henry.\n\n[[Say, "Was that a talking toad?"|Talking Toad?]]\n[[Say, "Was that an alien?"|Alien?]]\n[[Say, "What did he mean 'occupied'?"|Occupied?]]
You fly over to the large stone desk and land in the bowl.\n\n<<if $saved eq "yes">>It is empty.\n\n[[Fly back to the door|Launch Door Return]]\n<<else>>It is full of worms.\n\n"Save us! Save us!" they scream.\n\n[[Say, "I saved you. The toads are gone."|Saved Worms]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Launch Say Goodbye]]\n<<endif>>
You fall for a little while longer, then plunge face-first into a deep, scummy lake.\n\n[[Hold your breath|Hold Breath]]\n[[Don't hold your breath|Don't Hold Breath]]
You curse the world with filthy swears.\n\n<<display "Life Flash">>
<<if $carolfirst eq "yes">>You follow Carol through the hatch into a long tunnel that leads further down into the Earth. \n<<else>>You fly through the hatch into a long tunnel that leads further down into the Earth. Carol follows.\n<<endif>>\nAn army of gaseous toads is shuffling along the tunnel floor. You and Carol fly above them, keeping to the shadows. \n\n"How did you open the hatches?" asks Carol.\n<<if $invasion eq "yes">>\n[[Say, "I launched an invasion of Earth."|I Launched]]\n[[Say, "It wasn't me. None of this is my fault."|Not Me]]\n<<else>>\n[[Say, "I aborted the mission."|I Aborted]]\n[[Say, "It wasn't me. None of this is my fault."|Not Me]]\n<<endif>>
You fly out of the toad's nose.\n\n"A French exit?!" exclaims the toad, "How rude." He snatches you out of the air with his tongue and sticks you back inside his mouth.\n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
"Save it from what?" you ask.\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n"Aliens," says Henry. "From outer space."\n<<set $whyme = "yes">><<set $knowplan = "yes">>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You pretend to hold open the door. \n\nAs the door closes you catch a glimpse of Carol's little fly face. It looks confused and betrayed.\n\nA droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..."\n\n<<display "Take Off Without Carol">>
You engage your sucker feet and twist the door handle with all your might.\n\nIt doesn't budge.\n\n[[Look at the door|Door]]\n[[Fly back to the toad's cubicle|Back To Cubicle]]
[[> SCHEDULE MASSAGE|Massage]]\n[[> REQUEST SABBATICAL|Sabbatical]]\n[[> COMMENCE INVASION|Invasion]]\n[[> ABORT MISSION|Abort]]\n[[> HOME|Computer]]
Are you sure you want to fly into the stomach acid? It looks like certain death.\n\n[[Yes please|Acid]]\n[[No thanks|No Stomach]]
You say, "Don't talk to me, you lunatic."\n\n"Okay," says Henry.\n\nThe spaceship reaches the surface of the Earth and emerges into what remains of the building you worked in. It is mostly rubble since this afternoon's earthquake.\n\nHenry leaves, and returns a few seconds later leading Carol's human body by the hand. She walks very slowly and looks very confused.\n\n"Damn clever fly this one," says Henry, prodding human Carol in the forehead. She stares back, confusedly. "Flies are not usually smart enough to operate a human body like this," he says. Then he wiggles his fingers, and Carol's dull eyes brighten.\n\n"Bastard," she says, and throws a punch at the wizard's head. The wizard dodges it easily. Carol sighs, and leaves the spaceship.\n\nThere is an awkward silence.\n\n"I have to go into space," says Henry. "Are you coming?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes, let's go into space."|Yes Space]]\n[[Say, "No, let's go home."|No Space 1]]
You curse the world with tiny fly swears.\n\nThere is a bumpy, rocking motion which you take to mean the toad is on the move. As he walks, he hums to himself in a dull but oddly reasuring drone.\n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
You engage your sucker feet and twist the door handle with all your might.\n\nIt doesn't budge.\n\n[[Read the nameplate|Nameplate]]\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Into Office]]\n[[Fly back to the toad's cubicle|Back To Cubicle]]
You look at the jam jar. \n\nThere are airholes in the lid and a fly buzzing around inside. The fly looks familiar.\n\n"Say hello to my little friend," says the wizard.\n\n[[Say hello|Fly Again]]\n[[Run away]]
You say, "No."\n\nThe worms all burst into tears.\n\n[[Say, "Don't worry, I'll save you!"|Save You]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Leave Bag]]
You wake up in a hotel suite feeling rich and famous. There is a fly on the wall and a mirror on the ceiling. \n\n[[Look at the Fly|Look Fly]]\n[[Look in the mirror|Look Mirror]]\n
You swim down through yards of viscous muck.\n\nThe blinking red light gets bigger. Then your breath runs out and stinky lake scum floods your pulmonary airway causing your vocal chords to constrict and starving your body of oxygen. \n\nEverything goes dark and silent.\n\nAfter a while a blurry shape starts to materialize in front of you.\n<<set $swallow = "yes">>\n[[Look at the blurry shape|Unconscious]]\n[[Wake up|Wake Up]]\n
You buzz your lttle fly wings as fast as they will go.\n\nThe toad begins to hum louder, and in tune with your buzzing.\n\nAbove you is the toad's mouth. Below you is a frothy lake of stomach acid.\n\n[[Fly into the stomach acid|Stomach]]\n[[Return to the toad's mouth|No Stomach]]
You fly back to the vacant cubicle.\n<<if $puke eq "yes">>\nThere is a computer on the desk, and some fly vomit.\n<<else>>\nThere is a computer on the desk.\n<<endif>>\nBelow you, under a thick layer of drifting gas, you can see a hatch built into the floor.\n\n<<display "Cubicle Actions">>
"Don't worry," you say, "I have a plan!"\n\nYou fly on through the tunnel, leaving the gassy toads shuffling along in your wake.\n\nMoments later you turn a corner and find the tunnel blocked by an enormous brown door. \n\nIn the middle of the door is a porthole. Below the porthole is the door control panel.\n\n[[Look back down the tunnel|Look Tunnel 2]]\n[[Look through the porthole|Porthole]]\n[[Fly at the control panel|Button]]\n
You say, "You were walking very slowly."\n\nCarol nods, very slowly.\n\nRed flashing lights continue to flash, and sirens continue to wail and echo around the enormous cave.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n<<set $carolfirst = "yes">>\n"I just remembered," says Carol, "We need to escape." She flies through the hatch.\n\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n[[Wait here|Wait Hatch]]\n<<endif>>
You select > COMMENCE INVASION\n\n> ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO COMMENCE THE INVASION OF EARTH?\n\n[[> YES|Yes Invasion]]\n[[> NO|No Invasion]]
"Yes, I'm a human," you say.\n\n"You look like a fly to me," says the toad. "We thought that wizard might have been snooping around again."\n\n[[Say, "No, no wizards here."|No Wizard Here]]\n[[Say, "You're right. He is here."|Wizard Here]]
Perhaps you should play Part One again.\n\n[[Play Part One again|http://www.anthonyhodgson.com/toads/part1.html]]\n[[Continue with Part Two|Land In Lake]]
You say, "Where are we going?"\n<<if $whyme eq "no">>\n"To save the human race." says the wizard.\n\n[[Say, "Seriously?"|Seriously]]\n[[Say, "Save it from what?"|Save From What?]]\n[[Say, "What if I don't want to?"|Don't Want To]]\n<<else>>\n"I just told you," says Henry, "To save the human race. Do keep up."\n\n<<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You look around.\n\nYou are sitting on the ceiling of an enormous cavern. Below you, for as far as your creepy little segmented eyes can see, are row upon row of toad-sized office cubicles. In each cubicle is a fancy computer, and at each computer squats a fat brown toad. \n\nThe toad whose warty mouth you just escaped from is in the cubicle directly below. He is talking on the phone. "Yes, sir." he says, "I'll be right there." He hangs up the phone and shuffles away very slowly towards a door on the far side of the cave.\n\n[[Fly to the cubicle below|Fly Cubicle]]\n[[Fly to the door on the far side of the cave|Boss Door]]
You stop holding the door open for Carol.\n\nAs the door closes you catch a glimpse of Carol's little fly face. It looks confused and betrayed.\n\nA droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..."\n\n<<display "Take Off Without Carol">>
<<if $security eq "yes">>You crawl through the keyhole into a spacious office. \n\nIn the middle of the office is a large stone desk with a small bowl on it. Sitting at the desk are two large toads. \n<<else>>You crawl through the keyhole into a spacious office. \n\nIn the middle of the office is a large stone desk, and sitting behind the desk is a large, stripey toad.\n\nThe slowly shuffling toad enters and shuffles slowly across the room.\n\nThe pinstriped toad peers down at him distainfully over the rims of his glasses. "Sit," he says, pointing to a much smaller chair opposite him. "And help yourself," he adds, gesturing to a bowl in the middle of the desk.\n\n"Thank you, sir," says the slowly shuffling toad. He sits down and plucks a lively worm from the bowl. "I had a fly that I was saving for later, but it got away from me." He puts the worm's tail between his lips and slurps it like a noodle.\n\n"I can't abide flies," says the pinstriped toad, "They've got those creepy little segmented eyes. They always look like they're up to somthing."\n<<set $security = "yes">><<endif>>\n[[Fly to the large stone desk|Stone Desk]]\n[[Crawl back through the keyhole|Keyhole Return]]
You fly to the door.\n\nYou are a fly on a door.\n\n[[Fly back to the large stone desk|Stone Desk]]\n[[Crawl back through the keyhole|Keyhole Return]]
You say no and continue walking.\n\n<<if $tunnelsmaller eq "no">><<display "Tunnel Smaller">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You fly down the toad's gullet. \n\nBelow you is a frothy lake of stomach acid.\n\n[[Fly into the stomach acid|Stomach]]\n[[Buzz your wings|Buzz Stomach]]\n[[Return to the toad's mouth|No Stomach]]
You read the nameplate.\n\nIt says: Toad 1378\n\nYou are sitting on a door in an enormous cave of cubicles.\n\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Into Office]]\n[[Fly back to the empty cubicle|Back To Cubicle]]
You say, "No."\n\n"Oh dear," says Henry. "Because there isn't much time. When do you think you'll be ready?"\n\n[[Say, "Now."|Ready Now]]\n[[Say, "Later."|Ready Later]]
"No," you say, "Let's go home."\n\n"Home!?" says Henry, "Seriously?"\n\n[[Say yes|Yes Home]]\n[[Say no|No Home]]
You hurl your fly body at the control panel and open the door.\n\nHenry walks in, dragging your unconscious human body behind him.\n\nThe door closes and the spaceship continues its journey up through the same hole you fell down earlier this afternoon. \n\nHenry looks back and forth between you and Carol. "Which is which?" he mutters to himself. "Well, it probably doesn't matter."\n\nHe wiggles his fingers and you fall unconscious.\n\n[[Wake up|Wake Up Spaceship]]
You are inside a toad's mouth. In front of you are the toad's sealed lips, behind you is his gullet, above you are his nasal cavities, and to either side of you are his ear holes.\n\n[[Fly down the gullet|Gullet]]\n[[Fly into an ear hole|Ear]]\n[[Fly into a nasal cavity|Nostril]]\n[[Buzz your wings|Buzz Mouth]]
FROM : TOAD 82337\nTO : TOAD 100983\nSUBJECT : HEY\n\nHey,\n\nDid you feel that earthquake? I heard they're going to let us leave early today. \n\nToad 82337\n\n[[> EMAIL|Email]]\n[[> HOME|Computer]]\n[[> LOGOUT|Logout Toad]]
\n\nThe spaceship launches noisily.\n\nIt travels upwards for several seconds, then stops.\n\n[[Look out through the porthole|Look Door Wizard]]\n[[Look around the spaceship|Look Ship Wizard]]
You wave at the pistriped toad.\n\nThe pinstriped toad glares at you over the rims of his glasses.\n\n<<if $ship lte 1>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Take Off With Carol">><<else>><<print $ship>> minutes pass. A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Take Off With Carol">>\n<<endif>>
The tunnel gets smaller. You bang your head on the ceiling twice, knocking free some questions.\n<<set $tunnelsmaller = "yes">>\n<<display "Question Hub">>
You say, "I saved you. The toads are gone."\n\n“Hooray!” shout the worms, "You saved us!" and they wriggle their way off the desk and into the earth where they live happily ever after.\n\nYou are filled with an enormous sense of well-being.\n<<set $saved = "yes">>\n[[Fly back to the office door|Launch Door Return]]
You fly into a nasal cavity and shimmy your way along the nasal canal. You can see a light up ahead.\n\n[[Head toward the light|Nostril 2]]\n[[Stay where you are|Stay Put 2]]\n[[Turn back|Turn Back]]
> PLEASE ENTER YOUR EXECITIVE IDENTIFICATION NUMBER AND PASSWORD:\n\nID NUMBER <<textinput $username>>\nPASSWORD <<textinput $password>>\n\n<<button [[LOGIN|Exec Login]]>>
You look in the mirror. <<print either("Kim Kardashian","Justin Bieber","Miley Cyrus","Paris Hilton","Christian Bale","Justin Timberlake")>> looks back at you.\n\nThe end.\n\n[[Play again?|Start]]
You say, "Goodbye," and fly back to the large stone desk.\n\n"Don't forget to save us!" the worms call out after you.\n\nThe two toads are still discussing security details.\n\n[[Fly into to the bowl|Inside Bag]]\n[[Fly back to the door|Pin Door]]
It is Monday evening. You are falling down a hole towards the center of the Earth. \n<<silently>>\n<<set $compstyle = "no">>\n<<set $swallow = "no">>\n<<set $boots = "no">>\n<<set $pee = "no">>\n<<set $dry = "no">>\n<<set $belgium = "no">>\n<<set $howmany = "no">>\n<<set $howlong = "no">>\n<<set $whyme = "no">>\n<<set $knowplan = "no">>\n<<set $hr = "no">>\n<<set $sorry = "no">>\n<<set $tunnelsmaller = "no">>\n<<set $he = "no">>\n<<set $pee2 = "no">>\n<<set $questions to 0>>\n<<set $invasion = "no">>\n<<set $abort = "no">>\n<<set $puke = "no">>\n<<set $pukegone = "no">>\n<<set $security = "no">>\n<<set $report = "no">>\n<<set $passworded = "no">>\n<<set $password = "no">>\n<<set $username = "no">>\n<<set $saved = "no">>\n<<set $ship to 9>>\n<<set $carolfirst = "no">>\n<<set $gasgone = "no">>\n<<endsilently>>\nWhat will you do?\n\n[[Curse]]\n[[Pee your pants|Pee Your Pants]]\n[[Remain calm|Remain Calm]]
You say, "Yes."\n\n"I'm suprised you didn't ask earlier," says Henry. "We're here to save the human race. It's all rather complicated, but the basic facts are these: A few thousand years ago a small, brown, alien spaceship landed on the Earth and burrowed deep into the ground."\n\n<<if $sorry eq "yes">><<display "Toad Arrives Sorry">><<else>><<display "Toad Arrives">><<endif>>
You say, "I aborted the mission."\n<<if $invasion eq "yes">>\n"Are you sure?" asks Carol. "Because it looks like someone initiated an invasion and the toads are going to the surface to release their massive stores of naturally occuring psychotropic gas and take over the planet!"\n\n[[Say, "Don't worry, I have a plan!"|Plan]]\n[[Say, "Oh dear. What should we do now?"|What Now]]\n<<else>>\n"Oh good." says Carol. "The Toads were going to release their massive stores of naturally occuring psychotropic gas and take over the planet. But now we're saved!"\n\n[[Say, "Hooray for me!"|Hooray]]\n[[Say, "Now what?"|Now What]]\n<<endif>>
You decide against certain death and fly back where you came from.\n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
You fly to the door on the far side of the cave. \n\nThe buzzing of your wings echoes alarmingly around the cavern. Fortunately, toads have poor hearing due to their lack of ear holes, so you go unnoticed. \n\nYou land on the door.\n\n[[Open the door|Open Door]]\n[[Look at the door|Door]]\n[[Fly back to the toad's cubicle|Back To Cubicle]]
"No," you say, "No wizards here."\n\n<<display "Toad Tongue">>
You wave at the wizard with one of your tiny fly legs.\n\nThe wizard does not wave back. You notice your human body slumped at his feet.\n\n[[Open the door|Open Door Wizard]]\n[[Wave again|Wave More Wizard]]
"Do you want to know why I brought you here?" asks the wizard.\n\n[[Say yes|Tell Why Here]]\n[[Say no|Not Tell Why Here]]
You wake up in a cavern filled with annoyingly loud sirens and red flashing lights. Hatches are opening in the cavern floor. The thick gray gas is seeping down through the hatches, followed by the toads.\n<<set $ship to 9>> <<set $gasgone = "no">> <<set $saved = "no">> <<set $carolfirst = "no">>\nA droning voice on a loud speaker says, "All toads must report immeditely to the Starship Toad. Launch commensing in T-minus 9 minutes."\n\nIn the floor below you is an open hatch. In the wall on the far side of the cave is an office door.\n\n[[Fly to the floor|Launch Floor]]\n[[Fly to the office door|Launch Boss Door]]
You fly back to the slowly shuffling toad's cubicle.\n\nThe cavern is filled with annoyingly loud sirens and red flashing lights. Hatches have opened in the floor beneath the toads' desks. The toads have all gone.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\nIn the floor below you is an open hatch. In the wall on the far side of the cave is an office door.\n\n[[Fly to the office door|Launch Boss Door]]\n[[Fly to the floor|Launch Floor]]\n<<endif>>
"Seriously?" you ask.\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n"Seriously." says Henry.\n<<set $whyme = "yes">>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
"Where did you get those boots?" you ask.\n\n"I'm a wizard," Henry says, "Didn't I mention that?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes you did."|Yes Wizard]]\n[[Say, "Can I have some boots, please?"|Me Boots]]\n
You say "Password."\n\nNothing happens.\n\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Leave Bag]]
You select > ABORT MISSION\n\nARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO ABORT THE INVASION OF EARTH?\n\n[[> YES|Yes Abort]]\n[[> NO|No Abort]]
You say, "I'm not ready."\n\n"Oh dear," says Henry. "Because there isn't much time. When do you think you'll be ready?"\n\n[[Say, "Now."|Ready Now]]\n[[Say, "Later."|Ready Later]]
You clamber along the dark tunnel and catch up with the wizard. He emits a warm, comforting glow, like a walking bedside lamp.\n\nThe further into the tunnel you go, the smaller it gets. Gray gas lingers worryingly around your ankles, and trickles of scum flow along the ground towards the lake. It is slippery and you fall often. You are not really wearing the right shoes for this kind of activity. You notice Henry has on a pair of sturdy hiking boots. Also, he is not covered in lake scum.\n\n[[Say, "How are you not covered in lake scum?"|Not Scum]]\n[[Say, "Where did you get those boots?"|Boots]]\n[[Say, "Can I go home now, please?"|Home?]]
"Was that a talking toad?" you ask.\n\n"It was a talking alien," says Henry, "It just looks like a toad. You should follow it and find out what it's up to."\n\n[[Say, "Why don't <i>you</i> follow it?"|Why Not Talk]]\n[[Say, "What do you expect it to be up to?"|Expect]]
You log out of the toad's computer and return to the desk.\n\n[[Fly to the computer|Computer0]]\n[[Fly to the floor|Floor]]\n[[Fly to the ceiling|Ceiling]]
The computer makes a short, discouraging alarm sound.\n\n> INCORRECT USERNAME AND/OR PASSWORD\n\n[[> TRY AGAIN|Exec Login Try Again]]\n[[> HOME|Computer]]\n[[> LOGOUT|Logout Toad]]
You look out through the porthole.\n\nYou see Henry the wizard standing on the banks of the lake of scum. The spaceship fills the entire lake.\n\n[[Wave at the wizard|Wave Wizard 2]]\n[[Open the Door|Open Door Wizard 2]]
You look around the spaceship. It is enormous.\n\nCarol looks out through the porthole in the door. "It's Henry," she says.\n\n[[Look out through the porthole|Look Door Wizard]]\n[[Open the door|Open Door Wizard]]
"I'm staying here!" you call after Henry.\n\nThere is no response.\n\n[[Stay here|Rest]]\n[[Follow Henry|Follow]]
You fly to the floor and land on the hatch.\n\nThick gas swirls around you, and you start to lose interest in whatever it was you were doing.\n\nThere is another fly here. \n\n[[Talk to the other fly|Talk To Fly]]\n[[Open the hatch|Open Panel]]\n[[Fly up to the desk|Fly Up]]\n
You fly to the toad's computer.\n\nBy throwing your hairy little body against the touch-sensitive screen you can navigate the interface.\n\n[[Use the toad's computer|Computer]]\n[[Return to the desk|Fly Up]]
FROM : TOAD RESOURCES\nTO : ALL TOADS\nSUBJECT : TREMORS\n\nToads,\nAs you are probably aware, earlier today we experienced a brief earth tremor. Following a thorough geological analysis, our scientists have concluded that the quake was of limited magnitude, and caused no significant structural damage. Please continue with your essential duties for the future of all Toadkind. We appreciate your profesionalism and look forward as always to the forthcoming subjugation of the human race.\nThank you,\nToad Resources\n\n[[> EMAIL|Email]]\n[[> HOME|Computer]]\n[[> LOGOUT|Logout Toad]]
You wave some more.\n\nThe wizard does not wave back. He looks down at your human body and kicks it very gently in the head.\n\n"Why are you not opening the door?" asks Carol. "Don't you want your body back? I want mine."\n\nCarol throws her little fly body at the control panel and opens the door. Henry walks in, dragging your unconscious human body behind him.\n\nThe door closes and the spaceship continues its journey up through the same hole you fell down earlier this afternoon. \n\nHenry looks back and forth between you and Carol.\n\n"Which is which?" he mutters to himself. "Well, it probably doesn't matter."\n\nHe wiggles his fingers and you fall unconscious.\n\n[[Wake up|Wake Up Spaceship]]
"Yes," you say, "Let's go into space."\n\n"Good," says the wizard. <<if $saved eq "yes">>"I could use your help. And thanks for saving the worms. They are good friends of mine."<<else>> "I could use your help. Although you must try to save the worms next time. Worms are our friends."<<endif>>\n\nHe fiddles with the controls of the spaceships and it is suddenly in outer space.\n\n[[Play Part 3|Play Part 3]]
You say, "This is fun?"\n\n"What else have you got?" says Henry? "Your rubber plant? Your in-tray? Your loaf-haired secretary?"\n\n[[Say, "It's called an In-Box"|Inbox]]\n[[Say, "I don't have a secretary."|No Secretary]]\n[[Say, "What's loaf-hair?"|Loaf Hair]]
You buzz your little fly wings against the inside of the toad's nostril.\n\n"Ah..." says the toad, "...chooo!" and his sneeze launches you at terrific speed out of his nose and up into the air. You tumble sickeningly for several seconds, then grab hold of a ceiling. \n\nEverything is spinning. You feel ill.\n\n[[Throw up|Ceiling Throw Up]]\n[[Look around|Look Around You]]
"How are you not covered in lake scum?" you ask.\n\n"I'm a wizard," Henry says, "Didn't I mention that?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes you did."|Yes Wizard]]\n[[Say, "Can I not be covered in lake scum, please?"|No Scum]]\n
You ask, "What's loaf-hair?"\n\n"It's not important," says Henry.\n\n<<if $tunnelsmaller eq "no">><<display "Tunnel Smaller">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You don't look at the jam jar.\n\nTime passes...\n\n[[Look at the jam jar]]\n[[Walk away]]\n[[Run away]]
The computer makes a pleasant PING sound.\n\n> HELLO TOAD 1378. \n\n> IF YOU ARE NOT TOAD 1378, PLEASE [[LOGOUT NOW|Logout Exec]]\n\n<<display "Executive Privileges 2">>
You wake up some time later feeling small and vulnerable. \n\nAn enormous toad towers above you. “Hello fly,” he says, "Sorry to trouble you. We've had a report of humans hanging around in here. Have you seen any? Humans?"\n\n[[Say, "No, no humans here."|No Human]]\n[[Say, "Yes, I'm a human."|Me A Human]]
You say, "How did you know?"\n\nThe other fly frowns with concentration as she tries to remember. "You work on the 4th floor, right?" she says. "In the cubicle with the rubber plant, and that man, what's his name?"\n\n[[Say, "I've forgotten."|Forgotten]]\n[[Say, "Do I know you?"|Know You?]]
[[Say, "Where are we going?"|Why Me?]]\n[[Say, "Where do you come from?"|Where Come From?]]\n[[Say, "How long have you been a wizard?"|How Long Wizard?]]\n[[Say, "How long have you been in HR?"|How Long HR?]]\n[[Say, "Are there other wizards?"|Other Wizards?]]\n[[Say, "Can I go home now, please?"|Home?]]
You say, "Yes".\n\n<<if $saved eq "yes">>"The thing is," says Henry, "I can't send you home, because you know too much. Although you did save the worms. And they are good friends of mine."\n\nHe thinks for a moment, then smiles and wiggles his fingers. You fall uncoscious.\n\n<<else>>"The thing is," says Henry, "You know too much. Plus you didn't save the worms. And they were good friends of mine." \n\nHe wiggles his fingers and you fall unconscious.\n<<endif>>\n[[Wake up|http://www.anthonyhodgson.com/toads/part1.html]]
You say, "No."\n\n"Space it is," says the wizard. <<if $saved eq "yes">>"I could use your help. And thanks for saving the worms, by the way. They were good friends of mine."<<else>> "I could use your help. Although you must try to save the worms next time. Worms are our friends."<<endif>>\n\nHe fiddles with the controls of the spaceship, and it is suddenly in space.\n\n[[Play Part 3|Play Part 3]]
You are holding your breath in a lake of scum. \n\nFar below you is a tiny blinking red light.\n\n[[Swim to the surface|Swim]]\n[[Swim to the red light|Stay]]
You fly through the hatch into the slowly sinking gas.\n\nAlmost immediately you lose interest in the tunnel and for want of anything better to do you fly back out again.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Fly through the hatch|Hatch Gas]]\n[[Talk to the other fly|Talk Other Fly]]\n[[Fly up to the desk|Launch Back To Cubicle]]\n<<endif>>
You buzz your little fly wings. \n\nThe buzzing echoes and reverbarates around the toad's skull. The toad stops humming and shakes its head violently from side to side. You are flung along the ear canal back to where you began. \n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
You say, "Thanks."\n\n[[Say, "Password."|Say Password]]\n[[Say, "Goodbye."|Leave Bag]]
The canal is too tight for you to turn around, so you shuffle awkwardly in reverse back to where you began.\n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
You say, "I didn't want to come."\n\n"Neither did I," says Carol. She sighs a little fly sigh. "Am I still up there? My body, I mean. At the office?"\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Say, "I saw you in the lobby."|Down Here]]\n[[Say, "You were walking very slowly."|Slow Walk]]\n[[Fly through the hatch|Down The Hatch]]\n<<endif>>
You fly over to the large stone desk and hide behind the bowl.\n\n<<if $report is "yes">>The toads are engrossed in a dull conversation about security details.<<else>>"There was a report of humans," says the pinstriped toad. "And a wizard."<<set $report = "yes">>\n\n"Yes sir," says the slowly shuffling toad. "I investigated the matter myself and found nothing out of the ordinary."<<endif>>\n\n[[Fly into to the bowl|Inside Bag]]\n[[Fly back to the door|Pin Door]]
You crawl through the keyhole back into the enormous cavern.\n\n[[Look at the office door|Door]]\n[[Crawl through the keyhole|Into Office]]\n[[Fly back to the slowly shuffling toad's cubicle|Back To Cubicle]]
You wake up back in your own body, lying on the floor of the spaceship. You feel terrible.<<if $puke eq "yes">> You have the taste of fly vomit in your mouth.<<endif>><<if $boots eq "yes">> You are covered in a stinky crust of dried lake scum. But you still have your nice new boots on.<<endif>><<if $boots eq "no" and $dry eq "no">> You are covered in a stinky crust of dried lake scum.<<endif>>\n\n"Congratulations," says Henry. "You saved the human race."\n\n[[Say, "Thanks."|Thanks Ship]]\n[[Say, "What about Carol?"|Carol Ship]]\n[[Say, "Don't talk to me, you lunatic."|Lunatic]]
You say, "Yes, he did."\n\nThe other fly frowns with the effort of concentration. "You work on the 4th floor, right?" she says. "In the cubicle with the rubber plant, next to that man, what's his name?"\n\n[[Say, "I've forgotten."|Forgotten]]\n[[Say, "Do I know you?"|Know You?]]
You buzz your little fly wings. \n\nThe toad continues on its way.\n\n<<display "Toad Mouth">>
"Now what?" you ask.\n\n"Steal their spaceship," says Carol. "It's the only way out." \n\nYou fly on through the tunnel, leaving the gassy toads shuffling along in your wake.\n\nMoments later you turn a corner and find the tunnel blocked by an enormous brown door. \n\nIn the middle of the door is a porthole. Below the porthole is the door control panel.\n\n[[Look back down the tunnel|Look Tunnel 2]]\n[[Look through the porthole|Porthole]]\n[[Fly at the control panel|Button]]\n
"Can I have some boots, please?" you ask.\n\nThe wizard wiggles his fingers and a pair of hiking boots appear on your feet. They are the most comfortable things you have ever worn.\n<<set $boots = "yes">>\n[[Say thanks|Thanks]]
"What about Carol?" you say.\n\n"Yes," says the wizard, looking at the other fly. "Carol from Accounting."\n\nThe spaceship reaches the surface of the Earth and emerges into what remains of the building you worked in. It is mostly rubble since this afternoon's earthquake.\n\nHenry leaves, and returns a few seconds later leading Carol's human body by the hand. She walks very slowly and looks very confused.\n\n"Damn clever fly this one," says Henry, prodding human Carol in the forehead. She stares back, confusedly. "Flies are not usually smart enough to operate a human body like this," he says. Then he wiggles his fingers, and Carol's dull eyes brighten.\n\n"Bastard," she says, and throws a punch at the wizard's head. The wizard dodges it easily. Carol sighs, and leaves the spaceship.\n\nThere is an awkward silence. \n\n"I have to go into space," says Henry. "Are you coming?"\n\n[[Say, "Yes, let's go into space."|Yes Space]]\n[[Say, "No, let's go home."|No Space 1]]
You don't hold your breath. \n\nStinky lake scum floods your pulmonary airway causing your vocal chords to constrict and starving your body of oxygen. \n\nEverything goes dark and silent.\n\nAfter a while a blurry shape starts to materialize in front of you.\n<<set $swallow = "yes">>\n[[Look at the blurry shape|Unconscious]]\n[[Wake up|Wake Up]]\n
You swim up through yards of viscous muck, then clamber out exhausted onto the bank of the lake. You seem unharmed by the fall. \n \nYou are lying in a small underground cavern. A layer of thick gray gas drifts ominously over the lake and across the ground. Henry the wizard from HR is standing over you. "You're alive," he says. "That's good." He turns and walks away, following a path uphill into one of several dark tunnels. "Come on," he calls back, "We're late."\n<<display "Henry Walk">>
Death seems imminent. Your whole life flashes before your eyes. Eventually you see yourself in the kitchen eating breakfast. It seems like a long time ago, but it was just this morning.\n\nDo you remember?\n\n[[Yes, get on with it|Land In Lake]]\n[[Remind me|Part One?]]
You keep going, and soon you are back at the lake of scum.\n\nNow what?\n\n[[Swim in the lake]]\n[[Climb back up the hole you fell down]]\n[[Feel sorry for yourself]]\n[[Give up]]\n
You say, "Yes, you did," and continue walking.\n\n<<display "Tunnel Smaller">>
You hurl your fuzzy fly body at the door control panel.\n\nIt beeps, and the door opens.\n\n[[Fly inside|Inside]]\n[[Look back down the tunnel|Look Tunnel]]
You read Carol's lips.\n\n"Help me," she is saying, "Help me... help me... help me..."\n\nSuddenly you wake up, weak and exhausted in a small undergound cavern on the bank of a scumy lake. A layer of thick gray gas drifts ominously over the lake and across the ground. You seem unharmed by the fall.\n\nHenry the wizard from HR is standing over you. "You're alive," he says. "That's good." He turns and walks away, following a path uphill into one of several dark tunnels. "Come on," he calls back, "We're late."\n<<display "Henry Walk">>
You are sitting in the ear of the toad.\n\nWhat next?\n\n[[Stay put|Stay Put]]\n[[Buzz your wings|Buzz Ear]]\n[[Turn back|Turn Back]]
You look at the wall. \n\nAt its base, almost hidden by the drifting gas, you notice a tiny little door.\n\n<<if $whyme eq "no">><<display "Not Know Plan">>\n<<else>><<display "Know Plan">><<endif>>
You say hello to the other fly.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\nThe other fly looks at you with glassy, unfocused fly eyes. “Hello?" she says, "Did Henry send you?” Her tiny voice is strangely familiar.\n\n[[Say, “Yes, he did.”|Last Hope]]\n[[Say, "How did you know?"|How Know]]\n[[Say, “Do I know you?”|Know You?]]\n<<endif>>
You stay put.\n\nThe toad's sticky tongue splats you against the ground, then yanks you through the air and deposits you into his horrible warty mouth.\n\nNow what?\n\n[[Curse|Curse2]]\n[[Pee your pants|Pee2]]\n[[Remain Calm|Calm2]]
The wizard stops suddenly, and you almost walk into a wall. The tunnel has come to a dead-end.\n\n[[Look at the wall|Look Wall]]\n[[Look at the wizard|Look Henry]]
You log out of the Exective Access.\n\n<<display "Computer">>
"What if I don't want to?" you ask.\n<<set $questions = $questions + 1>>\n"I hadn't considered that." says Henry.\n<<set $whyme = "yes">>\n<<if $questions eq 3>><<display "Small Door">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You continue holding the door for Carol.\n\nCarol continues to fly very slowly towards the spaceship. Has any fly in history ever flown so slowly? The shuffling toads are almost upon you.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." As the door automatically closes you catch a glimpse of Carol's little fly face. It looks confused and betrayed.<<display "Take Off Without Carol">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Continue holding the door for Carol|Carol In]]\n[[Stop holding the door for Carol|Don't Door]]\n<<endif>>
You are sitting in the nose of the toad.\n\nThere is a light up ahead.\n\nTime passes...\n\n[[Head towards the light|Nostril 2]]\n[[Stay put|Stay Put 2]]\n[[Turn back|Turn Back]]
[[Fly to the computer|Computer0]]\n[[Fly to the floor|Floor]]\n[[Fly to the ceiling|Ceiling]]
You say, "What did he mean, 'occupied'?"\n\n"It's the opposite of 'vacant'," says Henry.\n\n[[Say, "Is this a toilet?|Toilet?]]\n[[Say, "Was that a talking toad?"|Talking Toad?]]\n[[Say, "Was that an alien?"|Alien?]]
You open the door and Henry walks in, dragging your unconscious human body behind him.\n\nThe door closes and the spaceship continues its journey up through the same hole you fell down earlier this afternoon. \n\nThe wizard wiggles his fingers and you fall unconscious.\n\n[[Wake up|Wake Up Spaceship 2]]
You crawl through the keyhole into a spacious office. \n\nIn the middle of the office is a large stone desk with a small bowl on it.\n\nThe toads are gone.\n<<set $ship = $ship -1>>\n<<if $ship lte 0>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in 3... 2... 1..." <<display "Ship Gone">><<else>>A droning voice on a loud speaker says, "Starship Toad launching in T-minus <<print $ship>> minutes."\n\n[[Fly to the bowl|Launch Bowl]]\n[[Crawl back through the keyhole|Launch Keyhole Return]]\n<<endif>>
You roll over and go back to sleep.\n\nThe end.\n\n[[Play again?|Start]]
You say, "It's called an In-box."\n\n"Is it?" says Henry. "Good to know."\n\n<<if $tunnelsmaller eq "no">><<display "Tunnel Smaller">>\n<<else>><<display "Question Hub">>\n<<endif>>
You look through the porthole.\n\nYou see the brown interior of an enormous brown spaceship.\n\n[[Look back down the tunnel|Look Tunnel 2]]\n[[Fly at the door control panel|Button]]
You wake up weak and exhausted in a small undergound cavern on the bank of a scumy lake. A layer of thick gray gas drifts ominously over the lake and across the ground. You seem unharmed by the fall.\n\nHenry the wizard from HR is standing over you. "You're alive," he says. "That's good." He turns and walks away, following a path uphill into one of several dark tunnels. "Come on," he calls back, "We're late."\n<<display "Henry Walk">>
You hear the thunderous roar of an alien space ship beginning to launch. It is the loudest, most distressing thing you have ever heard in your life. You think your brain might explode.\n\nThen everything goes dark and silent.\n\nAfter a while, a blurry shape begins to materialize in front of you. It is a face. An old face surrounded by long white hair. It is the face of Henry the wizard. \n\n<<if $saved eq "yes">>"Thanks for saving the worms," says Henry, "But you forgot about the humans. Try again."<<else>>"You have failed to save the humans," says Henry. "Try harder. And don't forget the worms next time."<<endif>>\n\nYou pass out.\n\n[[Wake up|Redo]]
You plunge into the toads stomach and die a long, agonising death as your little fly body is slowly dissolve in acid.\n\n[[Play again|Start]]
You crawl through the keyhole back into the enormous cavern.\n\n[[Fly back to the slowly shuffling toad's cubicle|Launch Back To Cubicle]]\n[[Crawl back through the keyhole|Launch Into Office]]\n[[Open the door|Launch Open Door]]